The Process of Making Films

SUNSHINE COAST, AUSTRALIA - NOVEMBER 15:  A young child lays in the jaw of a model crocodile during the second annual Steve Irwin Day celebrations at Australia Zoo on November 15, 2008 on the Sunshine Coast, Australia. Steve Irwin Day coincided with the opening ceremony of the new Australian Wildlife Hospital in honour of Steve Irwins  mother Lyn Irwin who had been a pioneer in wildlife care in Queesnalnd, Australia.  (Photo by Lisa Maree Williams/Getty Images)


Yes, yes it is always this beautiful.

Wake up. That’s pretty much the first thing you should do every day.  Then look at your Facebook. Maybe have a Mr. Pibb.

-This will do you no good. At all. Ever. The Facebook part. The being alive parts.




This dude knows what’s up. You should see his Doc on sustainable farming.

-Come to peace with the idea that everything you do on the internet will ultimately be fake, flawed, and fake. Also understand the things you do in films have a chance to not be. Hey, even the Mona Lisa is falling apart. Get Zen with things.

-Get Zen with things. Filmmaking is incredibly stressful but also the best experience of your life. Unless you’re a lion tamer or Tom Brady or something.



-Make a bunch more things that are empty, flawed, and fake. It really is OK to fail. The idea is to get the win percentage up. So get that out of the way. Then the good things come. Also the bad things, but they become less and less and the good becomes more.


Yes. Yes I would like some negative fill on this shot. FORTHRIGHT YOUNG PA SQUIRE.

-Eat some Sun Chips.

-Get a sponsorship from Sun Chips (Don’t actually do that I was just reminding myself to do that because they are yummy yum.)

-Look at indie filmmaker blogs. There’s a lot of very good ones. Shorts of the Week comes to mind.

-Think about overpopulation.

fat guy

Approximation of the author in clothes that fit him before four months of writing.

-Work out. Filmmaking is a physically demanding process.

-Have a big ‘ole hot pretzel.. Because come on, you deserve it!


Pretzels: praying bagels.

-Get an oil change. You don’t really have to do this but I do and I wanted to remind myself.


It’s sort of like dry cleaning or feeding myself: one of those things I COULD do myself, but why not let a professional do it?

-Talk to co-workers. Which will probably be terrible, I know, but once you get in with those people that it is not terrible with it’s magic.


-Floss again.

-Floss (in the rapper sense. Trust me. You have to keep your necklace game on point in this industry, son.)

ATLANTA, GA - SEPTEMBER 29:  Rick Ross performs onstage at the 2012 BET Hip Hop Awards at Boisfeuillet Jones Atlanta Civic Center on September 29, 2012 in Atlanta, Georgia.  (Photo by Chris McKay/Getty Images for BET)

I rapped this white lion to death.

-Get a necklace

-Floss your necklace

-Look at Instagram for people and situations that inspire you. Make notes. Always make notes on every single thing you do- really-  because you never know when a thing in your real life will make a great scene. Mine are mostly about chicken.

-Take a minute for yourself. You deserve it. Especially in those jeans. Mmmmm. Pretzel jeans.


Never out of style.

-Don’t think of peanut butter as just a prop

-Hire some dancers. Make them wear funny coats. Teach them traditional folk dance.

-Floss funny coats. All night. Never stop. You don’t want to be the dirty coat guy, do you?


-Speak your lines out loud to yourself. No joke. Just see if they make sense and feel natural- if it feels strange coming out of your mouth, you can probably count on an actor doing the same.

-Be an actor. Even in the most basic sense. It honestly does help.


Candid from the Crown Chimp Laughlin Team Retreat.

-Read. Books, comics, articles. Anything. Media in, media out.

-Remember how lucky you are that this is your job, or hobby, or hopefully both.

-Don’t be afraid to cry. Or of spiders! AHH spiders they are so sticky!


Spiderman, we need to talk about your approval process for branded merchandise.

-Floss spiders.

-Use whatever educational background you may have to you benefit. Your parents paid for all that college, you might as well use it for something and stop disappointing your dad so much. Also live like you mean it. Go out, try things, get new experiences. We have enough scripts about a dude trying to write a script.

-Study up on the history and technique of making movies. It will help. Really.

-Get feedback from people who are not in the film world. Their opinion is just as valuable as a trained filmmaker because in the end that is who is going to see your film.

-When it comes down to it, all you can do is make good work and be nice to people. That’s the only things we have done. Aggressively do great work and be nice  (but genuine) with everyone you encounter.


One girl loves peppers! One girl loves an imaginary candle! Can they make it work in the big city?

-Read about sugar

-Be nice to everyone. If someone is going to give you a whole day as a PA, that’s pretty great and you should feel honored they buy in to your artistic vision enough to get paid not a lot for a ton of work. Or they need school credit.

-Sign off on any school credit for interns always. Remember what that was like? Yeah. They need time to do things like become an interesting human being in order to be a filmmaker.

-Up your talk game. GO GET THAT TALKY BOOM BOOM. Listen to Saul Williams or Bill Clinton. Those are good people at talking.


SAUL: Where do you draw your inspiration from Bill? I get mind from the gritty reality of living in a world that is still in an endless struggle with race, class, and artistic vapidity.


BILL: heh…

-You want to make something great? Stop hesitating and do that. That thing in your head you think you might do some day? Well, why not decide some day is now?

-Love your mom. Or someone’s mom. Whatever.

-Eliminate fear, regret, and guilt. Or at least learn to ignore them. Be bold. Be strange. Be authentic. What the hell does that mean? It means figure out who and what you are, then do that more and harder.

-Be you. It’s the only one you got.

As always, KJ will take us home-

kj glasses